The gay population is like an iceberg - the obvious flamboyant ones are the ten percent that are visible above the water. The only exception is motor sport, I do like NASCAR or the local equivalents I cant be arsed with team sports, but individual sports like swimming, cycling I'll do, I cant hit a ball for shit though. This was particularly noticeable when I was younger - I'd go to clubs sometimes with my first partner, it'd be wall to wall Madonna and such but I'd rather be at home listening to Johnny Cash or Waylon Jennings.Īs for the sports thing, R3 is dead right - it isnt a reliable indicator. I'm not into divas or dance music or disco type stuff, more at ease with country and southern rock. A lot blend in really well, and you want find them at the bars or nightclubs like what R23 points out - for a start, the music doesnt appeal. I think there is more masc guys out there than what OP sees - or thinks he sees. Of course you still have to make sure you’ve got the right one that fits your personality. The fem bottom is the closest thing you can have to a wife. They know their role, and they know yours. Never complain about bottoming too much like the masc versatile guys. As the years go by, you begin to appreciate the more feminine bottom who knows their place. Sometimes they actually think they’re going to top me (which is never going to happen). Their back porch isn’t up to the cleanest standards. The problem is that those masc guys aren’t down to bottom every night. I used to be the same way in my teens and early 20’s. That's why you see so many masculine couples who look like twins. In my experience, gay masc guys like other gay masc guys. Not sure where some of you have the idea that masculine guys like femmes. This means seeing femininity as strong, complex, and beautifully human.I’m not a parody account, R44. This means allying ourselves with trans women and genderqueer and gender-noncomforming folk on the feminine side of the gender spectrum. This is about the power of women and our ability to recognize it and ally ourselves with them, even if that means taking a stand against ourselves.
This isn’t about having “girlfriends” or besties or drinking buds. Forget about who likes dick and who doesn’t. Forget the time-worn parallels between women and gay men that get touted everywhere, which are based on the assumptions that women are straight and all queer men are gay, not bi. But just as people recognize the wrongness of their racist upbringings, and change from homophobes to queer allies, you can start uplifting women the way they deserve to be uplifted. It’s difficult to see outside the teachings of patriarchy - we are fed them at a young age. It took me years to see the wrongness in the lessons I was taught from birth. I was raised religious, so on top of heavily enforced gender roles - one of the South’s little cultural delights - I was taught that men were designated by God as “spiritual leaders of the family,” and that it was men’s “job” to protect and defend women. If you think all fem guys are unattractive and refuse to see them as more than their femininity, you’re a gay misogynist. When we tell ourselves that everyone who is female or everyone is fem behaves a certain way (and when we pass on this lie to others), we allow prejudices, stereotypes, and falsehoods about these demographics to spread and become reinforced. This is a psychological trick called “dehumanization,” and it’s how Hitler made the Holocaust happen. They become less than people - they become labels behind which you stop seeing their humanity.
People who are “other” become one giant mass. In that line of thinking, all women are the same, all HIV-positive guys are the same, and all black men are the same. In doing so, you contribute to an environment in which people are reduced. What does this have to do with women? Let me walk you through it.īlanket refusals to a certain demographic of gay men - black, Asian, HIV-positive, kinky - indicate that you’re the sort of person who refuses to see people beyond their membership in said demographic.